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Apart from good grades and getting into a good school, what else does a child need

Parenting Tips

Apart from good grades and getting into a good school, what else does a child need?

Written by: Ms  Carmen Leung (Teacher Car Car)

 

Many parents often ask, “What is holistic education?” If we look at the profound wisdom of the Chinese people spanning thousands of years, it is about cultivating a child’s “virtue, intelligence, physical fitness, social skills, and aesthetics.” From the perspective of psychologists, it involves developing a child’s multiple intelligences. From an educational standpoint, it goes beyond the pursuit of knowledge; we also need to nurture a child’s values, attitudes, appreciation for art and culture, interpersonal skills, problem-solving abilities, and critical thinking. In simpler terms, from a commoner’s perspective, holistic education means enabling children to excel in academics, have many friends, possess positive thinking, and excel in various aspects such as music, sports, and art. Do you want your children to experience holistic development?

 

Multiple intelligences are categorized into seven types, with innate and nurtured aspects each accounting for half.

 

In common discourse, the concept of multiple intelligences is frequently mentioned. Let’s explore holistic education from a psychological perspective. The theory of “multiple intelligences” was proposed by Professor Howard Gardner of Harvard University in 1983. He discovered that intelligence could be classified into at least seven types: linguistic intelligence, logical-mathematical intelligence, spatial intelligence, musical intelligence, bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, interpersonal intelligence, and intrapersonal intelligence.

 

When we discuss “intelligence,” parents often associate it with genius or innate talents. Is intelligence something one is born with, or is it developed later in life? In reality, an individual’s intelligence is a combination of innate and nurtured factors. Each child has a range of innate intelligence, such as an IQ of 100-120. Regardless of the stimuli provided or efforts made, their IQ cannot exceed 120. So, do we still need to cultivate a child’s multiple intelligences? Absolutely! Because whether a child’s IQ stays at 100 or reaches 120, it depends on postnatal cultivation!

Each intelligence is equally important.

 

So, how should it be cultivated? Through practice? Classes? Exposure to the outside world? Engaging in sports or listening to music? In reality, different intelligences have different cultivation methods. Scholars propose multiple intelligences to remind everyone that when parents focus on cultivating their children’s academic subjects such as Chinese, English, and math, they should not forget that other intelligences are equally important, especially interpersonal communication skills and personal introspective intelligence. If a child lacks any of these, how can they navigate in society? Therefore, when choosing courses for our children, don’t just opt for academic classes, language classes, or literacy classes. We should pause and think, besides academic performance, in which areas does the child need improvement? How is their communication ability? Analytical skills? Personal introspective ability? If a child’s communication skills are lacking, should parents choose courses that provide sufficient space for communication with others, such as drama classes, to allow them more opportunities to express themselves?

 

Remember the underlying meaning behind what I said about “multiple intelligences.” Take a moment to pause and consider the child’s development in areas beyond academics!

Storytelling education, what can parents do

Parenting Tips

Storytelling education, what can parents do?

Written by: Senior Early Childhood Education Consultant, Miss Mok Loi Yan

 

Many parents have asked me about storytelling topics that are challenging to explain to young children, such as stories involving death, like “The Little Match Girl,” or stories with violence, like “Little Red Riding Hood.” Due to the detailed depiction of events in the storybooks and lifelike illustrations, children may experience significant fear of death after listening to or reading such stories. They might be unable to express their inner discomfort, and some children even burst into tears after hearing these stories. What was originally meant to be an enjoyable parent-child storytelling time ends up having the opposite effect, triggering a heavy psychological burden on the children and leaving parents feeling guilty and unsure of how to handle the aftermath.

 

Fewer Characters, Positive Plot

 

I advise parents to start by selecting stories that are deemed suitable for a child’s mental and comprehension level from the vast array available in libraries. These stories typically have fewer characters, and a positive plot, and are easy for parents to use during interactive storytelling to help children understand causality and emotions. Stories with fewer characters allow children to focus more on understanding the transformation of the characters’ inner selves, behavior, and values within the story context.

 

Choosing stories with a positive plot helps build qualities such as self-awareness, problem-solving skills, confidence, and analytical ability in children. These positive aspects counterbalance stories with negative themes, bad situations in stories, or the ability to face difficulties in reality. Therefore, unless parents are certain that their children have accumulated a sufficient foundation of resilience from such stories and mental experiences, they should avoid exposing children to stories with terrifying or negative themes until these prerequisites are met.

Inspiring Cognitive Growth and Positive Character Principles

 

Secondly, starting with the educational significance that stories bring to children, it is crucial to steadfastly adhere to the principles of inspiring children’s cognitive growth and fostering positive character development! Regardless of how convincingly the storyteller portrays evil and villains, don’t forget the original intention! Storytelling education is a process of interactive learning between the audience and the storyteller, stemming from the direct description of scenes, associated information, and the shared underlying meaning. These observations, descriptions, awareness, and interactive content arise from the mental and emotional states of the audience and storyteller at that moment, as well as their accumulated personal experiences.

The role of the storyteller in education is highly important. In addition to carefully preparing and reading the story content, emphasizing key points and conveying the underlying meaning clearly, the storyteller should also be prepared to trigger children’s thinking about people and events at certain points in the story. Providing opportunities for the exchange of values in description and atmosphere creation is essential. Most importantly, observe the audience’s reactions while listening to the story and engage in interactive parts that deepen thought and sustain curiosity.

 

Dramatization and interaction should be humanized

 

Thirdly, ensure that the dramatization and interaction by the storyteller have the invigorating effect of being humanized and appealing to innate goodness. Whether in stories or the real world, children face different psychological and situational challenges that provide them with important opportunities for development. These experiences make them happier and more resilient than children who grow up in a sheltered environment. As the guiding light for children, we should equip them with the abilities needed for their journeys in life. Therefore, gradually tailor stories to children’s life experiences and cognitive levels, providing narratives of different levels, encounters, or aspects of human nature for them to hear.

 

When the storyteller portrays negative characters or delves into psychological crossroads and choices involving human nature, it is even more crucial to vividly depict the inner dialogue of conscience. The storyteller, assuming a narrative role, should provide children with positive consequences as a reference and analyze the relationships between themselves, characters, and situations. When parents engage in storytelling education with children, any decisions made in response to presented scenarios must be voluntary. Allowing children to experiment, face challenges, or find solace in the virtual world is essential. Moreover, it is important to make children aware of the parents’ stance and understand that parents are open to discussion and can be approached for communication! If the interactions spark reflective thoughts on love in children, helping them find their position in these values, the storyteller has successfully illuminated an outstanding life for the child through the story.

Willing to share – Parents set an example

Parenting Tips

Willing to share – Parents set an example

Written: Education expert, Cheung Wai Ching

 

The crow accidentally found a piece of soap. After washing its feathers in the basin, the crow became fragrant all over. Deciding to share this soap with other animals, the mouse, rabbit, little monkey, and big bear all took turns using it. Finally, it was the elephant’s turn. After the elephant finished bathing, the soap was nowhere to be found. The crow found it strange and anxious, thinking the elephant was playing a joke on it. The crow, with a kind heart, shared its good thing with its friends, but in the end, the item was gone. We all know that soap gets smaller as it is used, which is an inevitable fact. The crow didn’t expect that its well-intentioned sharing would result in losing what it originally possessed. Although the crow was a bit reluctant to part with its soap, when it smelled the soap fragrance emanating from its good friends, it felt happy and thought it didn’t matter.

 

With an increasing number of single-child families in society, coupled with busy parents compensating with material things, children tend to think that everything is for their exclusive enjoyment, and others are not allowed to touch. In such situations, what can parents do?

 

The joy of sharing is an abstract emotion that requires the accumulation of years along with the experiences of many life events. It is not something that can be achieved overnight. The most effective education on sharing comes from the example set by parents and educators. There is a lady who works as the chief editor in a publishing house. During her daughter’s summer vacation, she took her to the office. At that time, the company was handling a batch of books donated to children in remote areas, totaling a few hundred books.

The daughter asked her, “Mom, do you have to donate so many books? You could sell them for a lot of money! You might incur a huge loss this way. Can’t you donate fewer books?” The lady replied, “No one is telling me how much to donate, and no one is forcing me to do it. It’s my own choice. What are you worried about?” The little girl said, “I’m afraid you’ll donate all the books, and we’ll lose too much. Then we won’t have any money ourselves!” The lady teased, “Well then, I won’t donate at all. After all, those other kids aren’t my children. Why should I care if they have money to buy books?” Playing along, the mom intentionally teased her daughter. The girl clarified hastily, “I didn’t mean not to donate at all. I just meant you should donate fewer books! Keep some for later, and donate gradually!”

 

The mom, who works as an editor, told her, “Daughter, if I take these books to sell and make money, our family would certainly be happy. But now that I’ve donated the books, many children will be happy because they have books to read. I will also be happy because these books may give them some hope and dreams for life and the future. My happiness cannot be measured in terms of money.”

 

 

Parents are the best role models for children. In daily life, when parents show care and assistance to others, it naturally has a subtle influence on their children. Parents should set an example of sharing with others, regularly taking the initiative to care for and assist others. The place where the author lived during childhood was populated with many residents, resembling what Cantonese films call “one floor, fourteen households.” Although having many people naturally leads to friction, neighbors were accustomed to sharing delicious snacks they made with everyone. Additionally, in daily life, common items such as oil, salt, soy sauce, and vinegar were borrowed from one another. These small acts cultivated a sense of sharing in our generation.

 

The emphasis in “Willing to Share” is on the word “joy.” It is about feeling genuine happiness from being able to share with others. Only those who are truly tolerant, generous, and enthusiastic are willing to share with others. Similarly, only those who are genuinely confident, kind, and open-minded are happy to do so. In other words, if children can truly enjoy sharing, they possess all the valuable qualities mentioned above, which are more important than achieving good grades.

Reject the Busyness: Build Parent-Child Relationships Every Day

Parenting Tips

Reject the Busyness: Build Parent-Child Relationships Every Day

Whether parents are working or full-time homemakers, they are busy every day with work, household chores, and taking care of their children. After school, children are also busy with homework, tutoring, and reviewing for exams. Leisure time is limited, and bedtime comes early. Dr. Wong Chung Hin, a specialist in psychiatry, points out, “Parents and students in Hong Kong are very busy, but we need to learn to ‘preprocess’ emotions or stress before they erupt, and establish a good parent-child relationship. Parents should set aside dedicated parent-child time every day to communicate with their children. Parents should also take care of their own emotions, which will help their children express their inner feelings.”

 

In the midst of busy daily life, parents need to take good care of themselves first in order to better care for their children. Dr. Wong suggests, “Rather than dealing with emotional problems after they arise, ‘preprocessing’ is more important. Parents can establish healthy habits with their children, ensuring they have sufficient rest. Many students have tutoring and homework to do after school, but a moderate amount of entertainment is also crucial. As mentioned earlier, daily parent-child communication time is necessary. Doing fun activities together, such as exercising, not only builds quality parent-child time but also improves emotions.”

 

Dr. Wong emphasizes, “Parents should review their disciplinary expectations, adjust disciplinary methods according to their children’s abilities to avoid putting too much pressure on them. Parents need to understand that every child will grow up, want to be independent, and have their own thoughts. Parents can understand the reasons behind their children’s behavior, such as not wanting to go to school or declining academic performance. Parents should investigate whether the underlying cause is excessive learning pressure and communicate with the school to make adjustments to their child’s learning.”

 

In fact, children’s emotions can be influenced by the emotions of their parents. Dr. Wong explains, “When children have emotional issues, it may be partly influenced by family history. However, in many cases, children with emotional problems have parents with poorer emotional well-being. Parents should always be aware of their own emotional states to avoid expressing emotions inappropriately. For example, when parents are dissatisfied with their children’s behavior, they may burst out in anger, which not only affects the parent-child relationship, making the child at a loss and afraid to communicate with their parents, but also influences the parents’ own perceptions, negatively characterizing the child’s behavior as ‘disobedient,’ ‘pretending,’ and lazy.”

 

Parents most commonly face the situation of children “not listening at all” and may find it hard to refrain from getting angry. However, Dr. Wong reminds, “During these times, parents should not confront their children directly. Instead, they can find a space to calm themselves, for example, by doing some slow breathing exercises to soothe their emotions. Once the parent has calmed down, they can then address the child and understand the underlying reasons for the child’s behavior. If parents cannot control their emotions, it will only complicate things and make it difficult to have a chance to communicate with their children.”

Dr. Wong suggests, “Everyone has a different personality, and the methods for handling stress also vary. Parents can work together with their children to establish stress management methods, whether it’s through exercise, drawing, listening to music, taking a good rest, or simply relaxing. However, when parents notice that their child’s emotional issues have persisted for a prolonged period, or have started to affect daily life, and especially if there are signs of self-harm or suicidal thoughts, parents should seek professional assistance for their children as soon as possible.”

 

Dr. Wong concludes with a message to parents: “Many parents are currently juggling work commitments, but it’s important for parents to consider setting aside a moment each day, putting work aside, and dedicating time to their children to build a strong parent-child relationship and enjoy quality time together. This way, parents can also pay attention to any changes in their children’s mental and emotional well-being, detect problems early, and prevent the development of emotional issues such as depression or anxiety.”

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How to help children who are rather clumsy?

Parenting Tips

How to help children who are rather clumsy?

Family Marriage & Art Therapist, Ko Wing Oi (Wendy)

 

Parents often mention that their children are clumsy, often tripping or dropping things easily. This is related to hand-eye coordination and even the development of finger muscles. Many toys are now designed to train a child’s finger muscles from as early as a few months old.

 

Many parents are aware that various games can train finger muscles. But besides finger muscles, how can we train children to handle, grasp, or manipulate objects using their fingers? Balance is also crucial.

 

In fact, many toys can help train balance, and finger muscles can be developed in the process. For example, stacking games with different shapes, sizes, colors, and numbers can be used. When a child picks a die with a green side and the number 2, they have to find the corresponding green piece with a 2, and then pick another die, let’s say it’s blue with a 5, and find the blue piece with a 5, and continue stacking. This trains children on how to stack the pieces to maintain balance and prevent them from toppling over.

Another toy is the Russian stacking block puzzle, which is more complex in terms of layering and might be more interesting to children. Children can move the bottom block and then stack the Russian block puzzle pieces. This toy presents a certain level of difficulty, training children’s fingers, critical thinking, finger muscles, and balance.

 

Of course, clumsiness and accidents are also related to their level of concentration. For example, when a child is holding a cup of water, but their eyes are not on the cup; they are watching TV or listening to the adults around them. So, in addition to training their hand-eye coordination and balance, it’s also essential to train their concentration.

 

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Did not take medicine when sick, waiting for the body to recover on its own and then develop antibodies?

Parenting Tips

Did not take medicine when sick, waiting for the body to recover on its own and then develop antibodies?

Source:Pediatric Specialist Doctor, Chiu Cheung Shing

 

When children get sick, some parents may become very anxious and immediately take their child to the doctor or give them medicine. However, some parents believe that if they wait for a while, the child will naturally recover. In reality, this approach is somewhat correct to a certain extent. For mild illnesses like the common cold or cough, allowing the child to rest can help them develop some antibodies that can protect them from future infections. However, parents should be aware that not all illnesses can be treated this way.

 

For some strong bacteria, waiting for a natural recovery can be dangerous. For example, with bacteria like Streptococcus pneumoniae or Neisseria meningitidis, if you wait for natural recovery, there can be serious consequences. Within 24 hours of infection, 1 in 10 people may die. Even if death doesn’t occur, 1 to 2 individuals may end up with lifelong disabilities or complications. So whether you wait for natural recovery or not depends on whether the illness is mild or severe.

 

Source:Pediatric Specialist Doctor, Chiu Cheung Shing

 

When children get sick, some parents may become very anxious and immediately take their child to the doctor or give them medicine. However, some parents believe that if they wait for a while, the child will naturally recover. In reality, this approach is somewhat correct to a certain extent. For mild illnesses like the common cold or cough, allowing the child to rest can help them develop some antibodies that can protect them from future infections. However, parents should be aware that not all illnesses can be treated this way.

 

For some strong bacteria, waiting for a natural recovery can be dangerous. For example, with bacteria like Streptococcus pneumoniae or Neisseria meningitidis, if you wait for natural recovery, there can be serious consequences. Within 24 hours of infection, 1 in 10 people may die. Even if death doesn’t occur, 1 to 2 individuals may end up with lifelong disabilities or complications. So whether you wait for natural recovery or not depends on whether the illness is mild or severe.

 

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What is interactive reading? What are the techniques and steps for engaging in interactive reading with children?

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What is interactive reading? What are the techniques and steps for engaging in interactive reading with children?

Source: Educational psychologists, Shum Ka Man and Tang Wai Yan

 

Interactive reading is when parents and children engage in reading through conversation. The main difference between interactive reading and traditional reading aloud lies in the fact that traditional reading aloud often involves parents telling stories to children or, in some cases, parents’ intention to teach children to recognize words, focusing primarily on word recognition. However, the advantage of interactive reading is not just about word recognition; it aims to foster a positive parent-child relationship and help children express themselves through conversation.

 

In interactive reading, children take on an active role, where they can ask questions and guide the conversation through these questions and answers, thereby enhancing their reading comprehension skills. When parents engage in interactive reading with children, they should consider what questions to ask and what steps to follow. There are various ways for parents to ask questions, and we teach them a prompting framework that includes five different question types, abbreviated as ‘CROWD.’

 

C stands for Completion, where questions can be posed in a fill-in-the-blank manner. R represents Recall, encouraging children to remember what happened earlier in the story. O denotes Open-ended questions, allowing children to speculate about what might happen next. W represents Wh questions, covering the six Ws: who, what, when, where, why, and how. Finally, D stands for Distancing questions, which prompt children to relate the story to their own life experiences, asking how the story connects to their daily lives.

Interactive reading also follows a framework called ‘PEER.’

The first step is ‘Prompt,’ which refers to the types of questions asked. The second step is ‘Evaluate,’ where after asking questions, you can provide responses to the child. ‘Evaluate’ involves giving positive encouragement to the child, such as praising them when they answer correctly, saying, ‘You did a great job; you listened very attentively.’ If they answer incorrectly, it’s still important to encourage them, saying, ‘You tried very hard!’ and then attempt to find the answer together in the book.

 

Next is ‘Expand’ (E), which means expanding on what the child says. If a child’s response is brief, you can add adjectives or other details to make the sentence richer. Finally, there’s ‘Repeat’ (R), where after listening to the story, the child repeats the story, which can help improve their oral language skills.

A quick method to calm down young children

Parenting Tips

A quick method to calm down young children

Source: Pediatric Behavioral Therapist, Yip Wai Lun

 

Many times, as parents, when we see our children experiencing negative emotions like anger, tantrums, or extreme unhappiness, we often want to quickly resolve the situation by saying things like, “Don’t be so angry!” or we may scold them, sometimes even yelling, “Shut up right now!” or using a countdown like “One! Two! Three!” to command them. Some parents may try to reason with their children, saying, “We shouldn’t behave like this; we should stay calm.” However, these methods are not always very effective. Why is this the case?

 

It turns out that this is closely related to the structure of our brains. Understanding the brain’s structure can be very helpful in parenting. If we are familiar with two specific parts of the brain, it can aid us in disciplining our children. The first part is called the amygdala, which is a pair of almond-shaped clusters located in the posterior part of our brain. When we are startled or feel threatened, the amygdala sends signals that prepare us for either a fight or flight response. The amygdala operates on a reflexive level.

 

Another part is called the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for our flexibility and empathy. However, the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex cannot function simultaneously. The development of a child’s prefrontal cortex takes place from around the age of two to over twenty years old before it fully matures. Only then can they understand your reasoning and consider your thoughts and feelings.

 

As a result, most of the time, children are primarily influenced by the two amygdalae. This is why you often see children experiencing various emotions, becoming easily agitated, and prone to tantrums.

 

How do we stop the amygdala from functioning? This is very important. The way we make the amygdala stop functioning is by helping children express their emotions, especially when they have negative emotions. As parents, we should help them speak out, for example, saying, “I can see that you’re very unhappy,” “I can see that you’re very disappointed,” or “You seem very sad.” Because when you express and describe their feelings, their prefrontal cortex will send soothing messages to their amygdala, causing the amygdala to stop functioning immediately.

 

Whatever you do, don’t react negatively! When you see that your child is emotional, express your own personal feelings as a parent: “I’m really angry!” “What you did is not right!” or “I feel upset!” Doing this will only stimulate the child’s amygdala and make them more resistant. So the first step in disciplining children is not to control or teach them, but to first connect with their emotions and then readjust.

Everyday life is full of eye use. Adults and children do eye exercises together.

Parenting Tips

Everyday life is full of eye use. Adults and children do eye exercises together.

Source : Chinese Medicine Practitioner, Chiu Shi Cheung

 

Many children today spend a lot of time looking at computers, phones, or reading, which can strain their eyes. There are some acupoint massages that can help children relieve eye strain.

 

The first acupoint we’ll introduce is the “Zan Chuk” point. It’s located at the very front end of the eyebrows, about half an inch downward, at the corner of the eye socket. Another acupoint is called the “Jing Ming” point. It’s located at the side of the nasal bridge, right in the middle between the two eyes, near the inner edge of each eye. The third point is the “Si Pak” point, which is about 1 inch below the eyes, roughly the width of two fingers apart. It’s in front of the cheekbone, and when you touch it, there should be a slight depression just below the eyes; this is the “Si Pak” point. The last acupoint is the “Shi Chuk Hung” point, located at the very end of the eyebrow. All four of these points can help with dispersing wind, clearing heat, and improving vision.

 

Once we know the locations of these acupoints, how do we massage the eye area?

 

First, let’s start with the first point, the “Zan Chuk” point. You’ll use your four fingers to hold down the eyebrows, and then use your thumb to press on the “Zan Chuk” point. The “Zan Chuk” point is right at the very front end of the eyebrows, in the depression at the corner of the eye socket. Hold it with your four fingers and your thumb, and gently rotate 64 times in opposite directions.

 

The second acupoint is called “Jing Ming” Point, located in the area in front of the inner corner of the eye, between the eyebrow and the bridge of the nose. We use two fingers to gently pinch the bridge of the nose and then slowly massage it up and down, repeating this motion 64 times.

The third acupoint is called “Si Pak” Point. It is located on the inner edge of the cheekbone on our face. In fact, when you touch it, you’ll feel a slight depression. Using two fingers, place them on either side of the bridge of the nose, and you will be able to locate this point. Gently press inside, and you will feel a slight soreness. After locating it, you can also rotate the pressure 64 times.

 

The fourth acupoint is Shi Chuk Hung Point. To locate it, use your thumbs to first press on both sides of the temples. Then, starting from the Shi Chuk Hung Point, sweep upward to the Shi Chuk Hung Point again, and then continue downward, below the eyes, to the Shi Chuk Hung Point. This constitutes one cycle, and repeat this motion 64 times.

 

By massaging these four acupoints, you can not only relieve eye fatigue but also improve the blood circulation around the eyes and prevent eye conditions such as nearsightedness. When we do eye exercises, remember to keep our eyes closed throughout the entire process. After completing the eye exercises, it’s also important to keep your eyes closed for 2 to 5 minutes. We typically press each acupoint for 64 times. Why 64 times? It’s because, from the perspective of Traditional Chinese Medicine “eighty-eight sixty-four“, we call it the “first of eight eights” meaning the most important.

Three sentences of family life: Love warms within the home

Parenting Tips

Three sentences of family life: Love warms within the home

Written by: Education expert, Principal Cheung Jok Fong

 

Have you ever heard the theme song of a certain TV drama called “Embrace Love”? I really like a few lines from it, as these few words capture the essence of “family.” A family is a place that provides shelter from the wind and rain, your “support.” When you’re feeling “weary,” the door of your home will always be open for you. The mentioned “love” refers to the deep-rooted bond of kinship that’s destined from the moment you were born, stronger than blood. Indeed, what could be more important than family ties? When you’re feeling down, your family will share your burdens, willing to listen to your worries and accompany you through difficulties. When you’re sick, your family will take care of you unconditionally. When you achieve success in your studies or career, they’ll genuinely rejoice and take pride in your accomplishments. This kind of “love” can’t be bought with money.

 

We all hope that parents and students understand the value of family love. Sadly, this love might come too easily, acquired from birth, and as a result, some don’t fully appreciate it. Sometimes, we see in newspapers that some teenagers would rather linger on the streets than go home; some families argue all day long, turning the home into a battlefield; some even resort to violence over trivial matters, leading to tragedies. The examples mentioned are just the tip of the iceberg, and sometimes I can’t help but feel saddened that a once peaceful home can turn into such a situation.

 

The Three Sentences of Family Life

How can we build a harmonious family? Pope Francis once proposed the “Three Languages of Family Life” when talking about family, which are the three phrases that should be spoken more at home: “Thank you,” “Please,” and “I’m sorry.”

 

“Thank you” represents gratitude towards family members. Many times, children are taken care of by their parents from a young age, and they may start to take it for granted. Consider this: do parents have to prepare three meals a day for you? Who washes your clothes and cleans your shoes and socks, providing you with a cleaner living environment? When you’re sick, who takes care of you tirelessly, even getting up at night to give you medicine? Classmates, while your parents are taking care of you, why not say “thank you” more often and help with household chores when you have the time, sharing the workload with them? In fact, when children complete household tasks for their parents, parents can also say “thank you” to them. In today’s society, the notion of elders being on a pedestal is no longer appropriate. You should know that in building a harmonious family, everyone has a responsibility. Don’t think that certain tasks are necessarily assigned to specific family members. Even when you receive help from others, even family members, you can still say “thank you.”

“May I ask” represents respect for family members and polite behavior towards others. Some may think that since we are family, there’s no need to be overly polite in our speech and we can just speak straightforwardly. However, “May I ask” doesn’t just encourage us to speak politely; it reminds us to consider the feelings of our family members in our words. Sometimes, people tend to get heated over trivial matters and believe that they should argue their point forcefully in all situations, even with their family members. But is it really worth it to act this way? As the saying goes, “Winning an argument but losing the family.” Even with close family members, it’s better to choose our words carefully.

As for “I’m sorry,” it represents seeking forgiveness from family members. When you make a mistake, it’s only natural to have the courage to take responsibility and say “I’m sorry” to the person you’ve hurt. At the same time, “I’m sorry” also signifies an opportunity to mend relationships with family members. Sometimes, right and wrong are not easily judged in a few words. Or perhaps, there is no clear right or wrong, but rather differences in values among individuals. Unfortunately, many conflicts arise from such differences. If no one is willing to compromise, relationships can become very tense. As the saying goes, “Give in a little, gain a lot.” Putting down your pride doesn’t mean you’re surrendering, nor is it about compromising on the issue. Instead, it creates a new opportunity to resolve the problem in a better way.